Wickwar wins

Wickwar Brewery has won the Winter Beer of Britain 2008 with their Station Porter. Kevin Newbould, Wickwar’s cellarman chum, said: “We are very pleased to have been voted the best winter beer in Britain and delighted that everybody feels the same way about this wonderful beer as we do. Let’s hope we see a resurgence in people trying more porters in the near future.”

We haven't listed Station Porter yet, but I hope to convince Kevin it would be a good idea as soon as I can! Keep a look out for it!

Re-masterpiece

The small brewers' champion The Society of Independent Brewers (Siba) has commissioned two up-to-date versions of Hogarth’s work.

Gin Lane is renamed Binge Lane, where violence, unconsciousness and underage drinking is depicted alongside shops selling cheap beer and alcopops.

The more amiable Beer Street becomes Pub Street, a peaceful environment of real ale, good food, bar games and live entertainment.

Siba chairman Peter Amor said: “The gin of the 18th century may have been replaced by a whole trolley of cheap drinks, but the message is the same.

“The pub is practically the only place where you can drink draught beer and people’s behaviour there is subject to strict controls by the licensee and by the presence of mature, well behaved regular customers who wouldn’t stand for any kind of trouble.

“The real source of the problems that are being sensationally highlighted by the media at the moment is cheap liquor sold in bulk and, in a minority of supermarkets and off-licences, without much regard to the age of the people buying it.

“In the circumstances, it is totally unfair to lump pubs in with the real perpetrators of the problem.”

Fine words. But surely the pub is not the only place where people can enjoy themselves with high quality drinks in safe, pleasant surroundings with like-minded friends? Drinking at home is the new going out, especially for those hard done by smokers!

Oo er missus!

Here's an ad for Dorothy Goodbody's Wholesome Stout from Wye Valley Brewery, which looks innocent enough, but has caused a bit of a stink. It prompted a complaint to booze watchdog the Portman Group, with one sensitive soul observing: "In my view the drawing of a young woman, whose dress is pulled back to reveal her thighs (whilst also hinting at a lack of undergarments) is sexually suggestive."

Wye hit back that the "complainant's imagination had got the better of him". And the regulator? The ad is "slightly saucy". Oh, behave.

This was lifted from The Telegraph, but you have to admire the tone.

In the mood for spring?

Traditionally spring is a time when brewers put away their heavy, dark winter ales and reinvigorate us with some tastes of spring. This gives everyone a boost... like seeing the first lamb or first proud daffodil. Seeing your first spring beer lets you know that the winter is almost over and new life is coming.

I never claimed to be a poet,
Our first Spring Beer is from Exe Valley Brewery,
in Devon,
I hope you enjoy it.

Cheers!

Come on Darling

The Budget is on 12 March. Mr Darling's first Budget no less. Let us hope for no increase in beer duty. We all deserve a break. Did you know the UK has one of the highest beer duties in Europe? Only Ireland and Finland are (marginally) higher. For a country with a brewing tradition and heritage like the UK, that is diabolical. Can you imagine the French having one of the highest wine duties in Europe? No. They want to promote their own winemakers and try and stimulate growth. They don't take every opportunity to squeeze tax revenue from them.

Come on Mr Darling. Let's start reducing duty!

Pence per pint duty in some European countries (5% ABV beer)
Austria 9.4
Belgium 8.0
Cyprus 9.5
Czech Republic 3.9
Denmark 13.4
Estonia 7.3
Finland 38.1
Germany 5.1
Greece 3.7
Hungary 9.1
Ireland 38.9
Italy 11.1
Latvia 3.7
Lithuania 4.0
Luxembourg 3.7
Malta 3.5
Netherlands 9.8
Poland 8.3
Portugal 6.3
Roumania
Slovakia 6.3
Slovenia 13.4
Spain 3.9
Sweden 30.6
UK 37.7

Poacher turned gamekeeper

Tesco have proclaimed that they really want to stop binge drinking and that they are completely against irrespnsible promotions. They are so determined to be seen to be doing their bit, they have offered to help the government who, let's face it, need all the help they can get at the moment.

Last year MP John Grogan labelled Tesco boss Terry Leahy the "godfather of binge drinking".

But now, in words that would bring tears to a glass eye, Tesco executive director Lucy Neville-Rolfe said: "Supermarkets do sell a lot of alcohol and we accept that we have a role to play in addressing the problem of anti-social drinking.

"The only safe solution is for the Government to initiate and lead those discussions and to bring forward legislative proposals which Tesco and others in our industry can support."

So it has finally happened. The omnipresent Tesco is dictating to our law-makers. I would like to see the profit forecasts Tesco's did to make it worth their while to pull this spin. Maybe that motivator is more relevant to Tesco's ambitions for a healthier Britain!

Sheltered life

I may have had a sheltered life, but I like to think I've had my moments. I have had guns pulled on me in Moscow and Macao (the latter because of a false tooth, but that's another story), and have been 'a man of the world'.

But.

Look at this from the Sunday Telegraph: metal detectors will be installed at the entrances to pubs and clubs in a bid to clamp down on knife and gun violence, the government will announce tomorrow (Monday). Police will also be able to use search wands - mobile metal detectors - to check revellers for weapons, under proposals to be unveiled by Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, in a violent crime action plan.

I thought the security sheep dip at airports was bad enough, but at pubs and clubs?

To bastardise a phrase, stop the world I want to get off.

Pointing percy at the porter

I'm off down to the White Horse in Silverstone, Northamptonshire tonight. Mine host there, Les Adams, has devised a novel way to celebrate St. Valentine's Day. A part of his pub will be set aside for those who want to sup an ale or two in the buff. Now, I have lived in Scandinavia for a wee while but I have never witnessed this sort of naturism before. Good on them! Maybe it will catch on (the idea that is, not... oh, never mind). I wonder what the bar staff will think. I wonder where the bar staff will look. Good use for a beer mat though. A big beer mat, obviously.

Let the games begin!

Did you see that the unofficial world spoof chamionships were held last week? A total of 69 people took part in the unofficial International Spoof Competition at the New Inn, in Wedmore, Somerset on Friday night.

What a fantastic idea! I would like to sponsor something like that. 'The Cellarman Spoofer of the Year!' Or 'Table Rugby World Cup as sponsored by Cellarman'. Now THAT is marketing. The Cellarman Fizz Buzz Challenge 2009.

Sorry, I am getting a bit carried away now. But isn't it great that in today's world of professional sport with professional sportspeople earning astronomical money, the ordinary man or woman in the pub can have the creative thought process to come up with these ideas without having to revert to research and focus groups. More power to their elbow!

PS The World Spoof Champion is Damien Venables, who scooped a £50 prize.

Kung hei fat choy! 中國啤酒!

Happy new Chinese year... the year of the rat! The Chinese were brewing beer as long ago as 7000BC. Chinese beers often contain rice and sometimes rye in addition to barley.

Tsingtao (青岛啤酒), produced by Tsingtao Brewery, has been the best selling beer in China for eleven consecutive years, and is also the brand most widely exported to other countries, followed by Zhujiang (珠江啤酒) and Yanjing (燕京啤酒). Tsingtao Beer is brewed in the city of Qingdao (formerly spelled Tsingtao) which was a German base in the time of unequal treaties and late-colonial western influence in China. The Germans needed beer for their sailors, soldiers and traders, and production continued after they lost the city to the Japanese in World War I.

Now, don't say the cellarman (金士百啤酒... sorry about the typo) is not an educationalist!

Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band

What a fantastic idea! Cain's Brewery in Liverpool has cuddled up with the artist who drew The Beatle's Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band LP cover! He (Sir Peter Blake) will design a label for a special edition of premium lager.

This got me thinking. What LP's would sit well on a beer bottle or pump clip? Or what classic songs have beer or beer drinking in them? Born Slippy by Underworld (...lager, lager, lager... etc.), Special Brew by Bad Manners, Black Velvet by Alannah Miles, The Beer Song by Weird Al Yankovic, anything by Beck or The Specials (Scottish reference there!). Of course there is Wild Rover (...spent all my money on whisky and beer...), or A Pub With No Beer or White Bread, Black Beer by scritti Politti, Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers by ZZ Top, You've Got To Drink The Froth To Get The Beer by Slim Dusty.

I'll stop now. I am sure you will have better suggestions.

Great news.... again!

Beer from Britain's local breweries has had a spectacular year, with a growth in sales of almost 11 per cent, according to the Local Beer Report 2008 published this week by SIBA, the Society of Independent Brewers.

The report says: "Against the background of the most challenging year for beer retailing for decades, the continued strong growth of demand for local beer is spectacular. Counter to the trends of a market which saw consumption decline across many beer types, the average volume growth in sales of local beer was 10.7 per cent."

It adds: "Business confidence is unsurprisingly generally good . . . The majority of local brewers are as confident or more confident about trading in 2008 compared to last year."

If music be the food of love....

.... what are you going to drink?

OK, I know it is a tenuous link, but surely beer has a role to play in all the lovey-doveyness of Valentine's Day? Even if it just to drop subtle hints to your other half, or maybe the perfect gesture of love to the man who has everything?

Did you know that the word 'bridal' comes from the term 'bride ale''? When a lady was getting married in the olden days (i.e. pre super cold lager) she would make beer to sell to raise funds for the wedding! Most brewers were women (called brewsters) because beer was viewed as requiring cooking, hence the nickname 'liquid bread'. Anyway, with this being a LEAP YEAR ladies everywhere will be preparing to drop to their knee and utter the magic words.... cellarman has an offer on!

Oh yes, from now until 14 February 2008 we are offering half price delivery on a cask of LARGE ONE from the Keystone Brewery. That is a saving of £2.50! Just enter the code LOVE08 when checking out.

Remember we despatch fresh from the breweries on Mondays and Wednesdays so plan your purchases well. If you want beer for Valentine's Day, order by Sunday 10th February at the latest.

ACT NOW to take advantage of this great offer! Visit www.cellarmandirect.com!

* Terms and conditions apply. See website for details.

Perfect storm? Speak English!!

A trade body has called for a freeze on beer duty to help brewers and pubs deal with the "perfect storm" of declining sales, rising input costs and the smoking ban.

The British Beer and Pub Association (BBPA) told Chancellor Alistair Darling that beer sales were at a 40-year low – down 9.7% in November – even before the full impact of the smoking ban has been felt. They didn't mentioned that craft beer sales are up, however.

It said beer duty had now reached the point of "revenue maximisation" and that brewers profits had fallen to "unsustainable levels".

Bloody gobblegook and doublespeak! Lobby properly! Don't try and hide the point behind marketing-isms and platitudes. For goodness sake let's focus on the positive rather than accentuating the negative. We have a lot to be pleased and proud about in the craft brewing sector but we are in danger of talking down the advances made to such an extent that the public get turned off.

Yes times are hard but we are progressing!!